Dear Crackhead, Shortly after you moved in, I began regularly burning incense in our hallway.  It smells like ass in there when I don’t.  Sweaty, dirty, rotten ass, and tires, and cherry cough syrup. People keep asking me if I’m 420-friendly because of the numerous sticks in the wall.  Don’t worry.  I tell them I [...]

Dear Crackhead, Stop calling my husband “Sir”.  Everyone who hears it, including him, knows you only do it because “Look, Rayne! I got all dolled up for you!” didn’t work out so well for you. Signed, Now, I ain’t sayin you a gold digger… Okay, yes, I am.

Dear Crackhead, It’s a letter scale, not a calculator.  Say it with me.  Lehter skeyl.  Good! And no, you can’t use it to weigh your “teenager” on. I know you think you’re protecting yourself with your nifty code words, but you do realize that getting caught buying a “teenager” will get you in just as [...]

Dear Crackhead, If you don’t want to be referred to as a “crackhead”, perhaps you should put down the pipe for two seconds. Signed, Not Fooled by Your Indignation