An Ohio judge decided his defendant was out of line with his constant interruptions.  So, he ordered the bailiff to put duct tape over the man’s mouth.

Don’t believe me? Check it out.

This reminds me of when Alan Shore was defending a landlord on Boston Legal and the batty judge ordered the landlord to walk back and forth in front of his apartment building wearing a sign that said, “I am a slumlord.”  Naturally, things got ugly.

What if this guy had a heart condition or something? If the duct tape triggered a seizure? We take children from parents for less than this.  And we’re saying it’s okay for adults to do it to each other?

Without permission, I mean.  I won’t begrudge anyone their kinks.  Hell, if it wasn’t for the fact that I have such sensitive skin, I’d probably love having duct tape placed over my mouth.

I’m really not sure why this isn’t considered assault.  Because it was a judge? That’s crap.

If this were a criminal putting duct tape over a kidnap victim’s mouth, there would be a charge just for the duct tape.  Not that we’re supporting kidnapping, duct taping criminals.  But god damn it, I want robes that make me law proof!

Next time someone asks me what kind of super power I want, I’m saying law proofing robes.  Fer realz.